boredom.

I really hate having nothing to do.  I hate the fact that i actually do wait around for you, for you to be done seeing your friends, because, for some reason, you're not okay with seeing me AND you're friends at the same time. Therefore making the situation between us worse. Don't tell me you want to see me and then don't. Why would you not do something you want to do? Bullshit in all honesty. I just want to forget all this shit ever happened.

I sometimes fantasize about being in some sort of accident where i lose my memory, and everything between us is perfect again, because how could you not forgive someone who has no recollection of the series of events that has happened. It's pathetic.

People keep telling me that they're sad i'm unhappy all the time, that i deserve better and that this isn't love. Love doesn't make you feel like this. Love doesn't do this to a person. But now it's the point that all my options are going to end up me being unhappy. I'm unhappy now and this sadness isn't going to end. I'm just going to constantly be sad and maybe thats what i deserve, but i don't believe anyone should spend their life in sadness. But it seems i have no other option.